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I Dream of Genie
Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I thought it was just a nasty rumor when I read about it in some fashion rag, but they say genie pants are back. How could that be? Are women such fashion lemmings that they'd actually buy and wear genie pants in the year 2007? I mean, I know they all went for those horrendously clingy, cellulite-magnifying, gaucho-capri-pants for the last couple of years, but genie pants? That was one garment I thought I'd seen the last of in 1986. Well, tonight I got actual visual confirmation of this most reprehensible '80s throwback trend. I never thought I'd see the day that those unflattering jersey-knit, hip-volumizing, Arabian Nights pantaloons would come back in style, but alas, there they were, hanging off some bird-like woman I saw while I transfered from the L to the G at Lorimer Street. Genie pants. And they weren't just genie pants, but dropped-crotch, Hammer Time genie pants. It almost makes me pine for the days of nasty, thong-baring low rise jeans and muffin-tops. Almost, but not quite.

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